


I Want You to Do Something About It

by ownedbythestars (ljrvs)



Series: Linked by the Universe [5]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Academy Era, Angst, Canon Compliant, Jessika Pava has a Past, Jessika Pava is Angry, Join the Resistance, Niv Lek is a Good Friend, Pansexual Poe Dameron, Poe Dameron is oblivious, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Recruitment, The Resistance Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:27:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23090107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ljrvs/pseuds/ownedbythestars
Summary: “You do know something’s wrong, though. You can feel it. You can hear it in how people are talking, sense it in the tension that’s gripping the galaxy.”“And what exactly do you want me to do about it?” Jess folded her arms across her chest and watched Poe. "I'm just a pilot."“Damn it, Jess. You've never been just anything. And I want you to do something about it. Anything.” Poe leaned forward. “Do the right thing. You’ve always been one to fight the good fight—to stand up to oppressors. So do it. You own your own X-Wing. Take it and leave. Come with me. Fly for the Resistance.”--Poe left without a word over a year ago, leaving Jess to pick up the pieces and try to move on. When he comes back, Jess's world is shaken, leaving her to decide--can they go forward? Or has too much time and hurt passed?
Relationships: Jessika Pava & Niv Lek, Jessika Pava & Wedge Antilles, Poe Dameron & Jessika Pava
Series: Linked by the Universe [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1658350
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Part of the "Linked by the Universe" Series.
> 
> AKA I read the entire Poe Dameron comic series in a 3 day period and decided that Jessika Pava needs more story time. So I wrote it for her.
> 
> Anything you think you recognize/may have been stolen from another fandom, it's entirely possible. "Good writers borrow, great writers steal." -T.S. Eliot
> 
> Kudos and comments adored!
> 
> Edited 4/14: Broken into chapters (I didn't realize it was 30 pages?). And a few slight edits to make it more compliant with the upcoming prequel, "Make a Martyr of Me".

32 ABY

It was late when Jess finally made it back to her room. She had been out with Niv and some of the other pilots, celebrating the latest round of promotions—including her own to Captain. It felt weird to her to go out and celebrate her promotion without Poe, but he had disappeared without so much as a note over a year before, and life had to keep moving on. At least that’s what Niv kept telling her.

“Hey Testor.” A hand landed on her shoulder. Jess turned around and swung. She knew it was a good punch when she connected with the stranger’s jaw.

“Kriff. What the hell, Jess? It’s me. Who the hell taught you to throw a left hook like that?” Suddenly, her adrenaline riddled brain recognized the man she’d just decked.

“Dameron?” She hadn’t seen the man in over a year.

“Yeah, good to see you too.” He rubbed his jaw.

“What are you doing here? Where have you been? There are rumors...”

He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall with a laugh. “Rumors of my demise have been vastly exaggerated.”

“I heard that you and Kun and Arana went to join the Resistance.”

“Ok, that one’s true.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Can we talk?”

“Oh, now you want to talk? Dameron, I went back to the hospital to pick you up. You weren’t there. You left without so much as a word. What was that? Who does that?”

“Jess, I can explain, kind of. It’s not an excuse—you deserve better than that, but it is an explanation of what happened.”

Jess stared at Poe, her eyes hard. “Fine, come in,” Jess huffed and turned to unlock her door.

“No, not here…” he looked around suspiciously.

“Then where?”

\---

“This is…somehow a step down from your usual choices,” Jess said, looking around the bar Poe had selected. “I mean, you were always one for a dive bar, but this…”

“Is safe,” Poe finished. He led them to a distant table and sat with his back to the corner. Jess realized he chose the table where he could see the whole bar and no one could approach him from behind. She could see the tension in his shoulders as she sat down across from him. He looked different than the last time she had seen him—his hair was no longer cut to regulation length and the thick curls seemed to have taken on a life of their own. And there was something about his eyes—like he was somehow both freer and more burdened than he had ever been in the NRDF. Poe motioned for a server droid to bring them two drinks before he looked back at Jess.

“I know you didn’t come back here for a bad bar scene,” Jess prompted.

Poe looked her over. “You look good, Pava. How’ve you been?”

“Why do you care?” Jess replied shortly.

“I probably deserve that,” Poe conceded. “But seriously, how’s everything going?”

“Great. Fantastic. Couldn’t be better,” Jess replied dryly.

“Come on, Jess. Don’t be like that,” Poe groaned. “I’m trying.”

“Is that what this is?”

“J…”

“Do you know anything about me from the last year?” she asked. “Have you even thought about me?”

“I have. It’s just…”

“Just what? Not enough to reach out?”

“Jess—”

“I was promised an explanation,” she cut him off, taking a drink of the beer provided. She suspected she’d want something stronger for this conversation.

Poe inhaled deeply and sighed. “You were. After everything that happened with the _Yissira Zyde,_ with Muran…well, you know that I went after them on my own. When I got back, I thought I was being taken into custody, but instead, I was taken to meet General Organa. She told me what she was doing, told me about the Resistance. And she made me an offer: she’d clean the slate for me with Deso, or I could join the Resistance. I decided to join her. So did Kun and Arana. And I was gonna tell you, explain everything, but then Deso brought me here to be court-martialed and then Arkanis happened and Hux and…”

“You disappeared.”

“Organa took me from the hospital minutes after you left. There wasn’t time.”

Jess scoffed. "Explains why the three of you were being so shady. Does Kes know where you’ve been?”

“No,” Poe said quietly. “At least not exactly. I didn’t tell him, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d figured it out. He knew about Muran and that I had spoken with General Organa, but I never told him I was leaving.”

"So he doesn't know about Arkanis, either, then?"

Poe shook his head.

Jess sighed. “Thought as much. He knows that you left."

"He does?"

"Hard to miss when the NRDF Shore Authority showed up at his door, looking for you." 

"Kriff."

"He didn't say anything. Not that he knew anything to say. I was questioned, too. They wanted to know where you went, what you were doing...not that I could say much. Guess that's why you didn't tell me anything. But then it all...went away. Not sure how you managed that. Neither is your dad." 

"Fuck." 

"That about sums it up. He commed me, you know. Kes, I mean.”

Poe felt his voice catch in his throat. “He did?”

“Yeah. Hadn’t heard from you in a while, got concerned when he couldn’t get through to you. Said he had heard through the ‘Rebellion Grapevine’ that you weren’t with the NRDF anymore and might have joined the Resistance, but couldn’t get in touch with you or anyone to confirm that. Then the SA showed up and he got an answer—at least about the NRDF part. So he commed me, asked if I knew if you’d gone off to join Organa and the Resistance. I told him that you'd disappeared, but I didn’t know where you'd gone. Made me feel a little better, I suppose...at least it wasn’t only me you forgot about.”

“Jess…”

"You could have commed. Either of us. Your dad was at least pretty sure he knew where you were, but I didn’t know anything.”

“Could have been tracked. Jess, I know I shoul—"

“You know what? I don’t care. Whatever. Just—why are you back?” She interrupted him. 

Poe could feel her anger, but he pushed it aside. He couldn’t think about that right now. His time on Hosnian Prime was limited and he needed to finish his mission. He took a datapad out of his pocket and slid it across the table to Jess. “Take a look at this.”

Jess pulled the datapad closer and turned it on. As she read, Poe watched as her face went from skeptical to intrigued to worried. She looked up and met Poe’s eyes. “Dameron, what’s going on?”

“I’ve been flying a lot of recon missions, trying to learn more about the First Order and how broad their reach is.”

Jess’s eyes grew wide. “So all of this is confirmed?”

“That’s just the beginning.”

“Why isn’t the New Republic doing anything?"

“You're joking, right? After Arkanis, you still have hope that they'll act? The New Republic is blind. They’re locked in a stalemate, refusing to work together while giving the First Order leeway to do whatever they want. They’re a paramilitary group and they go completely unchecked. Major Deso actively ordered us not to do anything about the First Order when I was stationed on Mirrin Prime.”

“You never told me that.”

“I didn’t tell you a lot ‘bout Mirrin Prime. We didn’t have the time.”

Jess nodded. He wasn’t wrong. They hadn’t been able to talk much since Rapier Squadron was transferred. “Dameron, what you’re telling me, what you’re showing me…this has to do with the Amaxine Warriors that Organa and Casterfo found a few years ago, doesn’t it? Daxam IV?” She hesitated before adding, “Muran?”

“And Arkanis and Hux. All of it. Yes.”

Jess sighed. “Look, you know that I’m sorry about Muran. I owed him my life. I liked him—he was a good man. And I know he was…more than a wingman to you.” Poe had never been very forthcoming with details about his relationships and Jess had never asked for specifics, but she knew he and Muran had shared something, even if it was never titled. “And what happened to him was terrible. But for all we know, the First Order is some poorly organized and armed splinter Empire remnant that’s no more a threat than pirates or smugglers—"

“Are you kriffing kidding me?” Poe cut her off. “Do you even _remember_ Arkanis? You _know_ they're more than that. You saw their facilities, their Star Destroyers. And I've read The Arkanis Report from your 'unsanctioned mission.' You know what you saw out there. And I do, too."

Jess huffed a laugh. "Do I remember Arkanis," she muttered darkly. "Of course I remember Arkanis. Much to the displeasure of the entirety of Command," she spat back.

"But now you're talking like what happened to Muran was unavoidable—a tragic accident.”

“Based on the 'official' reports, it was.”

“That’s bantha shit and you know it. Screw the official report. You read _my_ report. And Kun’s and Arana’s. You know it was the First Order and we all saw them. You knew Muran, Jess. You know he was an outstanding pilot. He wasn’t some green probie in over his head.” Poe’s voice was thick with anger and grief. “What’s happening out there isn’t the work of pirates or some paramilitary splinter group. What’s happening wouldn’t be possible without high levels of organization, massive funding, and more equipment than you can imagine. You said so yourself in your report. It’s all connected—Daxam IV, Amaxine Warriors, the _Yissira Zyde,_ Arkanis: it all leads back to The First Order…” Poe stopped himself when he realized his volume had risen and looked around to see if he’d been overheard. When he spoke again, his voice was much lower. “J, the last time we spoke, we both knew this was big. But this is so much bigger than you realize. It's so much bigger than I realized before I left.” He took the datapad from her and opened a new file before handing it back to her. “Just…look,” he nodded at the pad. Jess started scrolling through pages of recon reports.

“Dameron, I don’t know about this…”

“You do know something’s wrong, though. You can feel it. You can hear it in how people are talking, sense it in the tension that’s gripping the galaxy.”

Poe watched Jess’s gaze harden. “That’s not my job. I’m a pilot. They point me where to go and I follow orders.” The words were heavy and mechanical, like she had forced herself to learn them after too many documentations of noncompliance or some insecure CO’s attempt to tame her inner fire.

Her words landed harder than her left hook earlier that night. He stared at Jess in disbelief. “I can’t believe you just said that. Whose words are those? Who taught them to you and put them in your mouth? Deso? Because they certainly aren’t yours. And I know they didn’t come from Antilles or Wexley. What about Arkanis? Did you completely block that out?"

"You keep bringing that up, but the official stance of the NRDF is that my trip Arkanis was a mistake. And as far as Command is concerned, I'm to act as if it never happened. An unauthorized mission that I'm lucky I didn't get court-martialed from," Jess said through gritted teeth, her words again seeming distant and unnatural.

Poe couldn't believe his ears. "Damn it, Jess, you are so much better than this,” he hissed through his teeth. 

Jess leaned back in her chair, drink in hand. “You sure about that?”

“Jess, please—” Poe ran a hand over his face. “I don’t have a lot of time. And neither does the galaxy, for that matter.”

“Haven’t lost your flair for the dramatic, have you?” she said dryly.

“The threat of the First Order is real, Jess, and you know it. It’s huge. TIE Fighters, Stormtroopers, Star Destroyers: Empire-huge. And no one here on Hosnian Prime is even talking about it. No one here is doing anything about it.”

“And what exactly do you want _me_ to do about it?” Jess folded her arms across her chest and watched Poe. "I'm just a pilot." 

“Damn it, Jess. You've never been _just_ anything. I want you to do _something about it_. Anything.” Poe leaned forward. “Do the right thing. You’ve always been one to fight the good fight—to stand up to oppressors. So do it. You own your X-Wing. Take it and leave. Come with me. Fly for the Resistance.”

“So, this is a recruitment speech. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? Just moved on from Poster Boy of the New Republic Navy to Poster Boy of the Resistance.”

Poe didn’t say anything.

Jess scoffed. “You want me to desert,” she shook her head ruefully. “That’s a felony.” 

“I want you to fight for something you care about. For something that matters. Not be a ‘pointed where to go and follow orders’ pilot or whatever bullshit propaganda they’re pushing on you. You’re too smart for that.”

“You keep telling me I’m too this or too that, but you know what, Dameron? I don’t know that you know enough of anything about me to say anything like that anymore. You were my closest friend for almost three years and then you vanished without a trace. I’m not sure you have the right to talk about me like that.”

“You’re right. I did. I left. But I worked with you daily for two years. I know you better than just about anyone.”

“Knew. You _knew_ me better than just about anyone. Because if you truly know me now, then you’d know that it _killed_ me that I didn’t know where you’ve been or what happened to you this past year. But that’s the choice you made—to leave.”

“Jess—”

“Do you even know that I was promoted today? Captain. I was out celebrating with Niv before I came home to find you on my doorstep. But that promotion? I did that. Me. On my own. I didn’t need your help to get me there.”

“I had no idea. J, that’s great! Congra—”

“No,” she stood quickly. “I don’t want to hear it. You’re not my trainer. You’re not my CO. I’m not sure if you’re even my friend anymore.” She threw a few credits on the table. “Thanks for the drink,” she said and left the bar.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You do know something’s wrong, though. You can feel it. You can hear it in how people are talking, sense it in the tension that’s gripping the galaxy.”
> 
> “And what exactly do you want me to do about it?” Jess folded her arms across her chest and watched Poe. "I'm just a pilot."
> 
> “Damn it, Jess. You've never been just anything. And I want you to do something about it. Anything.” Poe leaned forward. “Do the right thing. You’ve always been one to fight the good fight—to stand up to oppressors. So do it. You own your own X-Wing. Take it and leave. Come with me. Fly for the Resistance.”
> 
> \--
> 
> Poe left without a word over a year ago, leaving Jess to pick up the pieces and try to move on. When he comes back, Jess's world is shaken, leaving her to decide--can they go forward? Or has too much time and hurt passed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of the "Linked by the Universe" Series.
> 
> AKA I read the entire Poe Dameron comic series in a 3 day period and decided that Jessika Pava needs more story time. So I wrote it for her.
> 
> Anything you think you recognize/may have been stolen from another fandom, it's entirely possible. "Good writers borrow, great writers steal." -T.S. Eliot
> 
> Kudos and comments adored!
> 
> Edited 4/14: Broken into chapters (I didn't realize it was 30 pages?). And a few slight edits to make it more compliant with the upcoming prequel, "Make a Martyr of Me".

Poe knew exactly how creepy it was that he followed Jess back to her building. He could practically hear Kun's comment and feel Snap's eye roll. Iolo would think it was hilarious. But, he kept telling himself, it was for her safety. He had been cautious ever since he landed on Hosnian Prime to not be spotted and he had to make sure that no one had followed Jess, either. He didn’t want her to get hurt because of his actions.

Once she was inside, he sat down on a bench across the street. He still felt an almost overwhelming urge to be near her. Tonight had not gone anywhere near how he had thought it would. She had listened to him and let him present his case, but barely. She was so angry—far more so than Poe had expected her to be. And he didn’t know why. He had expected some anger, certainly, but he had expected the white-hot anger he had seen before: the kind that burnt hot and fast and cooled just as quickly. But this…this was something he hadn’t experienced. This time, Jess’s anger wasn’t expressed by yelling or shouting threats or obscenities. It was a low, cold, and controlled rage. It was so foreign to his experience with Jess that it had thrown him off his game. He’d said things he hadn’t meant and had received harsh responses in return. He’d known her long enough and well enough to know that when she wanted to, her words were as sharp and dangerous as any vibroblade on the market, and tonight, her biting remarks had hit their mark. 

But her anger wasn't the only thing that had struck him. Jess had also seemed tired, and not due to the hour. Even when on almost no sleep, Jess had always had a certain energy about her when they'd flown together. Now, she just seemed worn out, exhausted to her very core in a way that no amount of sleep would be able to fix. Like she was burning out inside her body, leaving just a shell behind. She seemed tired of...everything.

A slow, cold rain began to fall, but Poe ignored it. He couldn’t leave without trying to talk to Jess again, and since he no longer had clearance to be on base, he’d have to catch her outside of work. After she got off, it would be too late. He knew that tomorrow morning was his last chance, possibly ever, to talk to Jessika Pava. He continued to think through their conversation at the bar and was struck by how distant Jess had been. She had spoken harshly—without any friendly smirk to temper the words, had sat on the opposite side of the table from him without making any of the physical contact they used to, and had questioned every piece of data that she previously would have trusted him on. What hurt the most, though, was that she had only called him by his last name. It seemed that every bit of familiarity they’d ever shared was gone.

He kept coming back to one thing she had said: _That’s not my job. I’m a pilot. They point me where to go and I follow orders_. That phrase had scared him more than he cared to admit. It had felt so wrong coming from Jess—so flat and dull and forced. All of her passion for doing the right thing and for flying under a banner she believed in was gone. Poe knew from the stories his parents told him that this was the same kind of propaganda that was fed to anyone who stood up during the Empire: sit down, shut up, keep your head down, do what’s ordered of you. He hated himself for leaving Jess to deal with that alone.

He sighed and settled down on the bench. He would wait here all night, he decided, to have one more chance to talk with Jess. He’d apologize for upsetting her at the bar and then would hope that she’d listen.

\---

It was grey and raining when Jess stepped out her door the next morning. She pulled her jacket tighter around herself to keep away the chill and started on her walk to work. Not a block later, she found herself face to face with a drenched Poe Dameron.

“What are you doing here, Dameron?” Jess asked flatly. “And why are you soaked? Have you…”—she looked around—"have you been waiting outside all night to talk to me?”

“I came to apologize.”

“For…?”

Poe sighed and ran a hand through his wet hair. “Everything from the moment I scared you to the moment you left the bar?” Jess tried to step around him, but he put a hand on her shoulder to keep her with him. “Look, Jess, I’m sorry. It was late, we were both tired and drunk. We both said things we shouldn’t have. I got emotional and said things out of anger and you said things I needed to hear, but upset me.”

“Unbelievable,” Jess scoffed and pushed past him, heading for the hanger. “I’m going to be late.”

Jess could hear Poe’s feet on the wet pavement as he followed her. “J, come on. I know you’re mad at me, but just talk to me. _Please._ Last night—”

“You think that’s why I’m mad? Last night?” Jess turned sharply to face him. “Are you kidding me?”

“Jess, I don’t understand…”

“You still don’t get it, do you? Ugh! How can you be so thick?” she turned and continued down the road.

“Is this because I kept pressuring you about if you remembered Arkanis?"

She stopped but didn't turn around. "Of course I remember Arkanis, Dameron," she said softly. "And Muran! And the First Order! I remember _all of it._ But if I mention The Arkanis Report...if I so much as say the words 'Arkanis' or 'First Order' on base...I risk my commission. At best, I'm demoted and grounded for life, but more likely, I will be kicked out. I have been _ordered_ to _forget_ it. And you know that. So I have—I've forgotten it, at least on the surface. It _kills me,_ but I make myself forget about it so I can keep my job. But you wouldn't know that part, would you?" 

Poe stared at Jess's back. "J...Jess…I…I don’t…what did I do?" he whispered.

Jess whipped around, her eyes blazing. “Dameron, you left!” she shouted. “You left me. You took Kun and Arana and didn’t even tell me you were going or say goodbye or anything. You just disappeared. And now you come back and expect me to go with you, no questions asked, but don’t even apologize for leaving in the first place. You didn’t apologize for what this last year has been like for me—not knowing if you were alive or dead. For not being here when I needed you.” She was grateful for the rain at this moment—it helped hide the tears that had sprung unbidden to her eyes.

“Jess, I didn’t think…”

“No. No, you didn’t, did you? But that’s fine, right? On brand, even. Cause you’re Poe Kriffing Dameron. Son of Rebellion Legends, hotshot pilot, the poster boy for the New Republic Navy, or the Resistance, as the case may be now. People let you slide by because of your charisma and charm. You never have to think of how your actions affect other people. You just move on to the next ones.” Jess’s tone was ice cold and simultaneously scorching hot. Her words were sharp and venomous in a way that Poe had never heard from Jess. He knew he’d never seen or heard her so angry before.

“That’s not fair, J.”

“Isn’t it? Dameron, you _knew_ that I was looking for a sign that I was where I was supposed to be, that I‘ve been looking for that sign since I was _eight years old!_ And I thought you were it. I thought you were the sign from the Universe that I was in the right place. But then…did you stop even once and think about what it would feel like for me? To go back to the hospital and see your room empty with no explanation? No one would tell me anything! I thought you'd _died._ The doctors and med droids couldn’t tell me anything because of patient confidentiality or whatever, but no one else had answers, either. You were just gone! You could have told me something! You could have left a note for me. You could have sent a comm. Literally anything would have been better than the nothing I had. Cause for all I knew, you were like my mom, my dad, my sister, or any number of other people in my life—just another name on the list of people I've cared about who may as well be dead!” Poe could feel the fury radiating off her in waves—like a scorching heat in the cool and wet weather. 

But there it was. Poe felt like his heart was in a vice when he realized why Jess was so angry. “Jess…I…” he couldn’t find big enough words for what he wanted to tell her. “I’m so sorry,” he finally managed, his voice cracking. “I…I thought I was doing what was best for you—leaving you here. Kun and Arana and me—we’d just lost Muran, we were told to leave the First Order alone, and we were being sent off on missions that were a waste of time. We were all already one foot out the door. But you…you seemed like you had moved on from what had happened on Ibanjji, you had just graduated, you’d made new friends, you were part of a squadron. Things seemed really good for you here, and with everything you’ve been through, I didn’t want to tear that away from you after you worked so hard for it. So I tried to leave quietly, I didn’t want to interrupt your life.”

“So you didn’t even give me a choice? You just decided for me?”

“I didn’t think…I didn’t realize what it would be like for you. What it would bring up. I’m sorry.” Poe knew it was too little to offer her and far too late. Any relationship they had had was ruined and it was his fault.

“I would have followed you if you had asked,” Jess whispered, her rage finally dissipating. It seemed to Poe that once she was able to let it all out, she had no anger left. She looked deflated, exhausted: standing there fighting with him in the dim light of the early morning, miserable and soaked to the bone. 

“I know. That’s why I didn’t ask. I’m sorry,” Poe whispered.

Jess clenched and unclenched her jaw a few times—as if deciding whether or not she wanted to reply or not. If Poe was worth a reply. Finally, she sighed and her stare softened slightly. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

“I don’t deserve a second chance from you,” Poe began, “but I’m putting together an elite X-Wing squadron for the Resistance. Black Squadron. It’s what you hope for as a pilot: report directly to General Organa, a lot of freedom in mission parameters, top-secret missions, more flight hours than you've had since training, and really getting a chance to fight the First Order. The best part is not having your hands tied by Command or by people like Deso or politicians. I’m only recruiting the best of the best. And I want you to be a part of it. I need a wingman I can trust.”

“Dameron…”

“Just…think about it?” Poe looked around to be sure they weren’t being watched, but no one else was out in the rain and chill. “After we talked last night, I thought about what you said. When I left, I thought I was doing what was best for you by leaving you behind. But last night I realized that I was wrong. What you said about ‘going where you’re pointed and following orders’: that scared me. Because that’s not you. Whoever forced that thought into your head—whoever ordered you to stop asking questions and to _forget_ Arkanis and to just follow orders—whoever did that to you is trying to kill your fire, and your fire is what sets you apart. If this place is killing that part of you, that part that makes you special, you need to run away from here as fast as you can. Even if that's not to the Resistance.” Poe took her hand. “You could be such a force for good in the galaxy, Jess. Do something meaningful. Be so much more than you can be here.”

Jess sighed and looked away before looking back to Poe’s eyes. “You’re asking me to risk a lot.”

“I think you’ll risk more by staying—you’ll be risking yourself.” Poe sighed. “Talk to Antilles. I’m sure he can help you get out without too much consequence. He knows all about rebellions.”

Jess chewed her lip. “When do you need an answer by?”

“I have to leave tonight by 2300. If you’re in, meet me at the Tai-Lin Garr Spaceport at 2100. I’ll wait at the Navy Personal Vessel storage strip. If I don’t see you there, I won’t bother you again. I promise.” He put his hand on Jess’s shoulder and squeezed gently. 

"Ok, fine," Jess nodded. "I'll think about it." She turned to head toward the base security gate.

"Jess," Poe called after her. She turned to look at him. "What you said last night: that you didn't need my help to get promoted to Captain...you're right. You did that—all on your own. You've never needed my help to be incredible. So...I don't know if it means anything to you or not, but congratulations, Captain," Poe saluted her.

“Thanks, Dameron,” she hesitated, uncertain what she had to say next would be welcomed. She ruefully shook her head and continued, “Listen, I don’t know what you’re up to, but I can guess it’s top secret. But if you’re gonna be on Hosnian Prime until 2300, do yourself a favor…call your dad. The connection should be safe here and I know he’s worried about you.”

Poe couldn’t respond, his throat felt constricted in a way that wouldn’t let words out. Whatever he’d been expecting Jess to say, this wasn’t it. He nodded and tried to clear his throat. “Ok. I hope I’ll see you tonight.” He managed before he exhaled sharply and walked away into the rain, leaving Jess alone outside the Security Entrance to the hanger.

\---

Poe watched from a distance as Jess passed into the New Republic Navy Hanger and out of sight. He was positive this would be the last time he would see her. _There is no reason she’d come, history or not,_ he thought bitterly. Her rage had been so visceral, it was a wonder he had survived the interaction at all. He hated that he had done that to her. Even if she had finally been able to shout at him about all of her pain from the last year and her anger had dissipated some, he doubted she would be able to forgive him.

Poe thought about what she’d told him: reach out to his Dad. Kes Dameron wouldn’t disapprove of Poe joining the Resistance—he and his wife had been a part of the original Rebellion nearly thirty years prior. But Poe knew the conversation wouldn’t be easy: _how would he explain disappearing without a word for over a year_? he thought. He groaned: with how terribly the last 12 hours with Jess had gone, he might as well face the music with his father, too. And Jess was right—it would be safer from Hosnian Prime than from anywhere else.

He sighed and turned to walk back to the shipyard and his X-Wing. He would contact his father and then he would wait at the shipyard, as promised until 2300, but didn’t hold onto a hope that Jessika Pava would show.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You do know something’s wrong, though. You can feel it. You can hear it in how people are talking, sense it in the tension that’s gripping the galaxy.”
> 
> “And what exactly do you want me to do about it?” Jess folded her arms across her chest and watched Poe. "I'm just a pilot."
> 
> “Damn it, Jess. You've never been just anything. And I want you to do something about it. Anything.” Poe leaned forward. “Do the right thing. You’ve always been one to fight the good fight—to stand up to oppressors. So do it. You own your own X-Wing. Take it and leave. Come with me. Fly for the Resistance.”
> 
> \--
> 
> Poe left without a word over a year ago, leaving Jess to pick up the pieces and try to move on. When he comes back, Jess's world is shaken, leaving her to decide--can they go forward? Or has too much time and hurt passed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of the "Linked by the Universe" Series.
> 
> AKA I read the entire Poe Dameron comic series in a 3 day period and decided that Jessika Pava needs more story time. So I wrote it for her.
> 
> Anything you think you recognize/may have been stolen from another fandom, it's entirely possible. "Good writers borrow, great writers steal." -T.S. Eliot
> 
> Kudos and comments adored!
> 
> Edited 4/14: Broken into chapters (I didn't realize it was 30 pages?). And a few slight edits to make it more compliant with the upcoming prequel, "Make a Martyr of Me".

* * *

Jess’s morning was filled with meetings, the new duties that came with her promotion, and ship maintenance, but her mind was far from her work. Dameron’s offer kept pushing itself to the front of her mind. When she was able to step away, she sent a comm to Admiral Antilles, asking for a meeting as soon as possible. She was surprised to receive a reply almost immediately with an invitation for a lunch meeting set for 1300.

So, at 1300, Jess knocked sharply on Admiral Antilles’ office door. She smoothed her navy coverall and waited for a response.

“Enter,” Admiral Antilles called.

“Admiral,” Jess greeted with a salute when she stepped into the office.

“Captain Pava,” Admiral Antilles smiled. “Good to see you. And congratulations on the promotion. Well deserved.”

“Thank you, Admiral.”

“Are you ready to go?”

“Go, Admiral?”

“This conversation…I don’t think it’s one we want to have on New Republic Navy grounds.”

“Understood. Yes, lead the way.”

The sun had finally broken through the clouds, painting everything with weak and patchy light. Admiral Antilles walked with Jess to a Yavin IV restaurant near base— _one of Poe’s favorites_ , Jess thought with a pang—and chose a table near the window. Jess sat down stiffly, facing the Admiral. Almost immediately, her knee started bouncing.

“Nervous?” Admiral Antilles nodded to Jess’s knee.

Jess blushed, embarrassed. “You have no idea, Admiral. Thank you for seeing me on such short notice.”

“I’m always happy to see my favorite former pupils,” the Admiral smiled.

"I thought you weren't supposed to have favorites."

"Not while I'm teaching you, but once you've graduated..." he winked. “And you've always been a special case."

Jess scoffed. "Special case is a very generous way to put it."

Antilles chuckled. "But I understand this is a more…complex visit.”

“I’m guessing a mutual acquaintance has been in touch?”

“Acquaintance?”

“The Commander and my relationship is…not in a great place right now. I don’t know if it will be again.”

Admiral Antilles nodded gravely. “I had a feeling that might be the case. And yes, he has. He’s told me about the offer he made you.”

“Off the record, Admiral, can I ask your opinion?”

Admiral Antilles leaned back in his chair, considering the young Captain in front of him. “Off the record, Jessika?” he asked. Jess sat up straighter—any time he used her first name wasn’t official business.

“Of course. Isn’t that why we came here?” she replied, dropping the honorific. She wasn’t quite ready to use his name.

He took a deep breath before speaking. “Take it. Get out.”

“Excuse me?”

“Whatever opportunity Dameron is offering you, take it. Get out of the Navy, get off Hosnian Prime. Go.”

“Antilles, I…” Jess was at a loss for words.

Antilles smiled kindly at her. “Not what you were expecting to hear?”

“No, not at all.” Jess let out a bit of a laugh. "You never fail to surprise me." 

“Jessika—I’ve lived through one war. I know the signs. And as much as I hate to admit it—I see the signs now. The New Republic is struggling. You know that as well as I do. After the Napkin Bombing and Tai-Lin Garr's assassination, tension has been on the rise and it's only a matter of time before war comes. And if you wait too long, you might find yourself fighting a battle you don’t believe in. Take it from someone who has been on the wrong side before, it’s not a place you want to be.”

"A year ago, you told me this wasn't the hill to die on. What changed?"

"What didn't?" Antilles sighed. "Jessika, telling you to write that Arkanis Report and then to forget about it is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Maybe one of the things I regret the most. I should have supported you, but I told you to keep your head down because I was scared for you. Instead of keeping you safe, I made it possible for Deso to order you to be smaller, to be less than who you are. But I was wrong, and I'm sorry for any harm I caused." 

“You were just looking out for me. I was angry, but I understood."

"Doesn't change what I'm telling you now," He leaned forward on his elbow to get closer to Jess. “I can’t tell you what to do, but If I were you, I’d pack my things and leave for the Resistance immediately.”

"Why? Why should I go to the Resistance? Why not go back to racing or private piloting or whatever?”

Antilles chuckled. "Jessika," he began, but was interrupted by the arrival of the server droid. They waited as the server droid delivered their food and departed, leaving them alone again. “I’ve known you for nearly five years, and one thing I’m certain about is that you want to make a difference. You want to _do something_. You weren't happy racing before and you wouldn't be happy racing or private piloting now. I can’t say what opportunities you’ll get with the New Republic if you stay, but I can tell you that the offer you’ve been presented with means that you’ll have the opportunity to do something that matters—to be on the right side of this fight. And with Leia Organa leading it, the Resistance is going to make a difference.” 

Jess stirred the food on her plate, too distracted to actually eat. “But how would I get out? I can’t desert. If I do that, I’ll just put a target on my back from the New Republic. Not exactly helpful when you’re trying to fight another enemy.”

Antilles smiled. “I'll take care of it."

"You will?"

"Took care of Dameron's disappearance, didn't I? Well, with Ematt, I mean. I still know a few people. I’ll arrange a Convenience of the Republic Separation for you. Get it pushed through ASAP,” he took a sip from his cup. “We’ll fill out the paperwork when we get back to base. I can put in for you to be on leave for the next two weeks, should be enough time to get the Convenience approved. You could leave with him tonight and not have to come back.”

“Why would you do that for me?” Jess asked suspiciously.

“After five years, you're still suspicious of me?" he teased. "Jess, why _wouldn't_ I do that for you? It’s the right thing to do,” Admiral Antilles met her eyes. “And Leia needs pilots. Good pilots. Really, she needs all the pilots she can get with as few strings attached as possible. And you are an outstanding pilot.”

“I can’t ask you to do that for me. I can’t ask you to put your career or reputation at risk for me.”

"You say that like this is the first time I've taken a risk for you," the Admiral laughed and shook his head. “I’m an old man, Jessika, ready to retire. Arranging a Convenience of the Republic Separation for you is no risk for me. In the spirit of ‘off the record’, I feel compelled to tell you that Commander Wexley and I will be returning to Akiva at the end of the term. We can’t, in good conscience, continue to teach kids to fight a villain that the New Republic won’t even acknowledge.”

“You’ll be missed,” Jess smiled. “The two of you are some of the only reasons I made it through. You took a chance on me by even bringing me here. Made modifications for me. I am where I am today because of you.”

“You are where you are because of your own hard work, determination, and grit. I’m just the one who gave you the opportunity to show everyone what you’ve got.” Admiral Antilles grinned at her. “But thank you for your kind words.”

Jess sighed and looked out the window at the wet streets. “It shouldn’t be this easy to walk away.”

“Shouldn’t be this easy legally or shouldn’t be this easy personally?” Antilles crossed his arms.

“Both,” Jess smirked and looked back to Antilles. “When you offered me the chance to join the New Republic Navy…I thought it was the luckiest day of my life. I thought I’d be a part of this until I died—whether from age or on a mission. Now, it’s barely been four years and I’m walking away.”

“Jessika—I’ve seen the change here. And I’ve seen how it’s changed you.”

“What does that mean, Admiral?”

“From the moment Norra and I saw you race, and then again when I met you in that hotel room, I’ve always known that you’ve had a fierceness to you. A fire. One that could be cultivated to be a force to be reckoned with by a strong leader or would be extinguished by some idiot who didn’t know any better. Be honest with me, Jessika: who was your CO the last time you felt like you were _doing good_?”

Jess considered this silently. “Dameron.”

“And why is that?”

“Since he left…” she swallowed thickly. She hadn’t let herself think too much about the changes she’d forced herself to go through this past year—changes to appease incompetent leaders. “Since he left, I’ve been ordered to be passive, to look away from things I can tell are wrong. Maybe they haven’t looked wrong on the outside, but I could _feel it,_ you know? With Dameron, I could ask questions. He expected me to want to know more. To pay attention and speak up when I saw something worth noticing. And Major Deso—” she stopped herself. “I’m sorry, Admiral.”

“We’re off the record here, Jessika. Please, continue.”

Jess took a deep breath. “Major Deso doesn’t…doesn’t think I should be here. He’s made that clear. You warned me, too, about what could happen with the Arkanis thing, what Command might say or think or do. Deso told me to leave Arkanis alone—ordered me to forget all about it. He told me I'd lose my commission if I brought up Arkanis or the First Order on base ever again. So I tried to do that. I tried to forget it, to ignore the spider web I saw growing from that place. I ignored so much to try and be what Deso wanted me to be. He thinks I need to be quieter, less…volatile or something, less _awake._ And I try to follow his expectations, try and tame that rebellious streak, but I can feel it—I can feel it inside of me, clawing to get out. I keep pushing it down, I keep trying to be the pilot Deso expects me to be. And…I think it’s slowly killing me," she confessed quietly.

Antilles clenched his jaw in frustration. “That’s not what I want to hear, Jess. A good commanding officer would have taken your fire and helped you focus it into something purposeful and powerful—they would have helped you thrive. Like Dameron did. A mediocre CO wouldn’t know what to do with your fire and therefore wouldn’t do anything—leaving you frustrated and burning without reason or goal: getting you in trouble,” He winked knowingly. “And a bad CO would be afraid of your fire and would try to extinguish it—taking away the very essence of what makes you a great pilot and person. I’ve seen you try and change yourself to fit the expectations of bad COs and I’ve seen what a struggle it’s been for you.”

“Doesn’t help that Deso just doesn’t like me,” Jess muttered, taking a sip of her drink.

“It’s not that he doesn’t like _you,_ specifically _._ You remind him of Dameron, and Dameron made him look like a fool. Your problem is that you fight with bad leaders—your record in the NRDF and at the Academy proves that.”

“You keep tabs on my service record?” Jess asked, intrigued.

“I didn’t bring you to Hosnian Prime and set you up with a modified course of study five years ago just to abandon you. You flourish when you have good leaders, but are labeled as troublesome and difficult by bad leaders. And while you have had a few good leaders here and there, you have had far too many bad ones. Ones who call you reckless and dangerous.”

Jess grinned, remembering the first time she ever met Admiral Wedge Antilles. “You said the same thing about me the first time you saw me fly.”

“I did,” Antilles agreed, “but I learned that while you take _risks_ , you’re not reckless. They’re calculated, every time. And they want to take that away from you, but those risk-taking calculations are what make you strategic and brilliant in a cockpit. And I’m sorry that they don’t see that.”

“So why should I go to the Resistance? What makes you confident they’ll see what you see? How can you be sure that it won’t just be more of the same: COs telling me that I’m too reckless, too dangerous, too…much? Why shouldn’t I just disappear and race or be a pilot for hire or find private employment?”

“Because you were meant to do more than that. You _want_ to do more than that—you always have. I've known that from the first time I ever met you. And I’m glad you’re made of something stronger than your weak leaders could take away or remold. I’m glad that fire still burns bright and dangerous inside you. Why the Resistance? Because it will be different. I promise. I've known Leia Organa for decades and I know the kind of leaders that she’ll surround herself with. And if you’re willing to take the risk and join, you will be led by people who will help make you into something greater than you could ever imagine.”

“You really think so?” 

“I know so.”

"How do you know?"

“Two reasons," Wedge said, holding up two fingers. "Firstly, Norra's son, Snap, joined Leia a few years ago. He was one of the first pilots to leave the NRDF to fly for the Resistance. Based on what we hear from him, Leia's leadership hasn't changed one iota."

"I don't think I know him."

"Who, Snap? You wouldn't. He left a few months before you arrived. Actually," Wedge paused, "I'm pretty sure that's the call Norra was on when we first met: Snap telling her that he was leaving the NRDF for the Resistance."

Jess considered the coincidence for a moment. "What's the second reason?" she asked.

Admiral Antilles sighed and pushed his plate aside so he could again lean closer to Jess. "Jessika, not very many people know this about me, but when I said that I've been on the wrong side before, I meant it. I was as wrong as I could be. Before I was a part of the Rebellion, I was a TIE Pilot for the Empire."

"You _what_?" Jess's eyes were huge with disbelief.

"It was what young men from my planet did. And I was good. But the Empire...I reached a point where I realized that I couldn't fight for them. So I deserted. Went to the Rebellion and found my place. Became more than I ever thought possible. That's how I know what good leadership can do." He paused, carefully considering his next words. "Plus, Dameron would be your CO again. I don’t know exactly what happened between you and Dameron, but I have some suspicions. I can’t tell you that you have to fix it, but…when you flew with him…he made you better. And you made him better. And that relationship alone is worth chasing.”

Jess chewed her lip as she mulled the Admiral’s words over in her head. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"The Arkanis Report...you told me that you'd give it to someone who could do something with it. Dameron told me he'd read it. Was that person General Organa?" 

"Yes."

"And did she do something with it?"

Wedge nodded. "Yes." 

"Something good?"

"Something very good."

Jess nodded and took a deep breath, considering the last 24 hours. 

Admiral Antilles gave Jess a long look before a grin overtook his face. “It’s been an honor, Captain.” He said and offered his hand.

“I didn’t say anything,” Jess said.

“Na, but I know the look,” he winked.

Jess smiled and shook Antilles’ hand. “It’s been an honor for me as well, Admiral.”

“I think you can call me Wedge now,” he gave her a conspiratorial smirk, “Rebel.”

Jess returned the smirk. “That’s gonna take some time, Admiral.”

Antilles lifted his cup to Jess. “To the Resistance,” he toasted quietly.

“To the Resistance,” she repeated and tapped her glass to his.

“Good. Now finish your lunch. You have a busy day ahead of you.” Antilles nodded to her food. Jess rolled her eyes.

“Yes, Admiral.”

"It's Wedge."

"Whatever you say, Antilles." 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You do know something’s wrong, though. You can feel it. You can hear it in how people are talking, sense it in the tension that’s gripping the galaxy.”
> 
> “And what exactly do you want me to do about it?” Jess folded her arms across her chest and watched Poe. "I'm just a pilot."
> 
> “Damn it, Jess. You've never been just anything. And I want you to do something about it. Anything.” Poe leaned forward. “Do the right thing. You’ve always been one to fight the good fight—to stand up to oppressors. So do it. You own your own X-Wing. Take it and leave. Come with me. Fly for the Resistance.”
> 
> \--
> 
> Poe left without a word over a year ago, leaving Jess to pick up the pieces and try to move on. When he comes back, Jess's world is shaken, leaving her to decide--can they go forward? Or has too much time and hurt passed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of the "Linked by the Universe" Series.
> 
> AKA I read the entire Poe Dameron comic series in a 3 day period and decided that Jessika Pava needs more story time. So I wrote it for her.
> 
> Anything you think you recognize/may have been stolen from another fandom, it's entirely possible. "Good writers borrow, great writers steal." -T.S. Eliot
> 
> Kudos and comments adored!
> 
> Edited 4/14: Broken into chapters (I didn't realize it was 30 pages?). And a few slight edits to make it more compliant with the upcoming prequel, "Make a Martyr of Me".

Jess left the hanger early. She waved goodbye to her squadmates and the maintenance techs she had worked with over the last few years. None of them knew she wouldn’t be back in the morning. _Is this how Dameron felt at the hospital?_ the thought came unbidden to her mind. 

As soon as she got to her room, she began packing. She was used to moving around and had few possessions outside of her clothes and X-Wing, so it wouldn’t take long. 

“I heard Dameron was around,” Niv said from the doorway, startling Jess.

“Kriff, Niv,” she let out a breathy chuckle, “you scared me.” 

“Heard he was talking to you.”

“What about it? You spying on me?” She couldn’t help the defensiveness in her voice. She knew what Niv was thinking. When Poe had disappeared, Jess had come to rely heavily on Niv. Maybe even unfairly so. But he had willingly stepped into many of the vacancies that Poe Dameron had left behind. In the past year, he’d learned about her past and her secrets and it hadn't changed anything between them. He'd become one of her closest friends and her rock in the NRDF. Leaving with Poe now, after everything, felt almost like she was betraying Niv.

“What did he want?” His eyes landed on Jess’s duffle bag on her bed. “Jess, no…”

“Niv…” she sighed. “I have to.”

“Jess, he left. You risked your job, your safety, your _life_ for him on Arkanis and he didn’t even say goodbye to you. He hasn’t been in contact for over a year. He doesn’t know what that did to you. What I saw that _he_ did to you,” his voice tapered off before being refueled with anger. “And he comes back and less than 24 hours later, you’re packing your bags? Explain it to me.”

“It’s…complicated.”

“So what? I’m not an idiot, I can keep up.”

Jess sank to her bed. Her shoulders were hunched as she stared intently at the floor. “For the last year, I’ve felt something was wrong. I could never put my finger on it, but our orders, the expectations from COs, the general _feel_ of what we’re doing told me something was wrong. And I felt myself being…changed. Being pushed into a small box or a mold that I won’t ever fit into,” she looked up at Niv, her eyes pleading for him to understand.

"Jess..."

"Deso _ordered_ us to forget about Arkanis. Told us to look the other way, that we weren't to pursue anything with the First Order. He threatened our positions if we spoke out. You can't tell me that those orders didn't feel wrong."

“Running away isn’t how you fix that.”

“I'm not running away. Or maybe I am. I don't know anymore, Niv. I just know that I'm so...I'm so tired. So tired of trying to be someone I’m not, just so I can stay in the sky. So tired of having to look the other way when I disagree. Tired of being a tool for Command to aim and fire. Tired of feeling like my hands are tied and that I’m the only person seeing the problems surrounding us. I'm tired of feeling like I'm screaming and no one is listening,” she paused, a determined look taking over her face. "I'm not running away. I'm running toward something that feels less like a prison and more like hope." 

"You should stay. Try to fix it from the inside."

"I'm one pilot, Niv. Doesn't matter what I do, I can't change something that is as...tarnished as the NRDF is now. And Dameron is giving me an out."

"I'm here with you, Jess." 

"Even with two of us, we can't change the whole system. Wexley and Antilles are leaving, too. End of the semester. They see it. Why can't you?"

Niv clenched his jaw. “Jess, Dameron left. He didn’t tell you. How could you go with him?”

“He explained why he left the way he did and, while I don’t agree, I can kind of see why he did what he did. And as much as I want to hate him…I still care about him. He’s still my friend. And I trust his gut on this.” 

"And what about me? Am I not your friend? Do you not trust _my_ gut on this?"

"That's not what I said," Jess shot back, her temper flaring. "But my gut agrees with Dameron's this time. So I'm gonna follow it." 

“So just like that, you forget me, forgive him, and take off?”

“Niv, it’s not like that at all.”

“Then what’s it like?”

“I’m not leaving or forgetting you and I'm not leaving for Dameron, forgiveness or not. I’m leaving because…there’s a fight out there that matters. And I can’t stay here and be suffocated anymore.”

The silence between them hung thick and suffocating. “Are you deserting?” Niv asked softly.

Jess shook her head. “No. Antilles is taking care of it for me.”

Niv stared at his friend. A million thoughts raced through his mind, all things he knew he could never say. “I think you’re making a bad decision, Jess,” he said finally.

“I know you do,” she replied softly. “And maybe I am. But it’s what I have to do.”

“At least be better than Dameron. Tell me goodbye when you go,” Niv said and stormed out of her room.

Jess dropped back onto her bed and stared up at the ceiling. She didn’t want to hurt Niv, but there didn’t seem to be a way around it. She couldn’t stay here any longer, she knew that, but she wished there was a way to leave without destroying the friendship that had kept her alive for the past year. She sighed sharply and sat back up to finish packing her things. It was too late now to change her mind and she would face the consequences as they came.

An hour later, Jess stood in front of Niv’s door. She hesitated before knocking. He had been a better friend than she deserved for the past year, and this was how she was repaying him. She hated fighting with him and hated leaving him, but knew that this was something she had to do. She had a pulse of empathy for Dameron at that thought. She could _almost_ understand why he’d left without saying goodbye. _Almost._

Finally, she knocked on the door. When it opened, Niv was standing there, his own bag in hand. Jess met his eyes, confused.

“Niv, what’s this?”

“I’m coming with you,” he said.

“Niv…”

“Jess, I told you before: I’m your friend. I'll always be here for you. Hell or high water, I’m with you. And if that means the Resistance, then I’m joining the Resistance.”

"No, you have a life outside of the cockpit: a family and a future. I don't. Don't follow me out of some twisted sense of loyalty. I’m not a good enough reason for that, Niv. I’m not a good enough reason to throw your career and life away.”

“It’s not just about you. You’re a part of it, certainly, but…what you said…about this place? You're right. I feel it, too. Something’s wrong here. Everyone is standing on the precipice, waiting for something terrible that’s going to happen. And when it does, I want to do something about it. My family will understand. And if we survive, my life will still be there.”

“Niv, you can’t—"

“Dameron took your choice to follow him away when he left a year ago. Don’t you dare do the same thing to me.”

“I can’t ask you to do this, Niv.”

“You’re not asking,” he told her softly. “I’m volunteering.”

Jess sighed. “You sure? I don’t think there’s gonna be any coming back from this.”

“I’m sure.” He nodded. “Already talked to Antilles. He told me he’ll take care of it, same as you.” 

Jess sighed, but smiled and held out her hand. “I wasn’t expecting you to, but I’m glad you’re coming with me.”

Niv smirked and took her hand, squeezing it. “Well then, let’s rebel.” 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You do know something’s wrong, though. You can feel it. You can hear it in how people are talking, sense it in the tension that’s gripping the galaxy.”
> 
> “And what exactly do you want me to do about it?” Jess folded her arms across her chest and watched Poe. "I'm just a pilot."
> 
> “Damn it, Jess. You've never been just anything. And I want you to do something about it. Anything.” Poe leaned forward. “Do the right thing. You’ve always been one to fight the good fight—to stand up to oppressors. So do it. You own your own X-Wing. Take it and leave. Come with me. Fly for the Resistance.”
> 
> \--
> 
> Poe left without a word over a year ago, leaving Jess to pick up the pieces and try to move on. When he comes back, Jess's world is shaken, leaving her to decide--can they go forward? Or has too much time and hurt passed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of the "Linked by the Universe" Series.
> 
> AKA I read the entire Poe Dameron comic series in a 3 day period and decided that Jessika Pava needs more story time. So I wrote it for her.
> 
> Anything you think you recognize/may have been stolen from another fandom, it's entirely possible. "Good writers borrow, great writers steal." -T.S. Eliot
> 
> Kudos and comments adored!
> 
> Edited 4/14: Broken into chapters (I didn't realize it was 30 pages?). And a few slight edits to make it more compliant with the upcoming prequel, "Make a Martyr of Me".

Jess and Niv arrived at the spaceport thirty minutes early. Jess had purchased her second hand T-70 X-Wing years ago, while Niv's family gifted him a new ship on his graduation. They quickly stowed their bags in their cargo holds and began preflight procedures.

While Jess was in her cockpit, checking through her systems, Niv saw a figure approaching in the dark. He glanced at his chrono: 2055. Odds were good it was Dameron. He wanted a minute alone with Dameron before he spoke with Jess. He hopped down from his ship ducked under Jess’s ship. He reached into the astromech docking station and triggered one of the sensors as if a droid was trying to connect, knowing that without a droid relay, the sensor would reset Jess’s system. He felt slightly guilty doing it, but was willing to risk it to get a moment alone with Dameron. He stayed low and went to intercept him before he made it to Jess.

“Dameron,” he said, once he was close enough to be certain. He glanced over his shoulder: Jess was now turned around in the cockpit, looking for whatever had reset her system.

“Lek?” Dameron looked confused. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m coming with Jess.” He was intentional to say ‘Jess’ and not ‘you’. Niv wanted it to be perfectly clear that he wasn’t doing this for Dameron.

“Lek—”

“You don’t get a say in this one, Dameron,” Niv cut him off. “She may have forgiven you, but I haven’t. You weren’t here this last year. You didn’t see her when she realized you had left her. And I don’t think even now you fully realize what _you_ did to her. How you _wrecked_ her and how she had to put herself back together without the foundation you’d given her. I’m not going to let that happen again. So if she goes to the Resistance, so do I.”

Poe clenched his jaw, but nodded. “You’re right,” he said, “I don’t know what exactly I did to her, but I know I hurt her. And I hate myself for that. But I’m glad she had you this last year. You’re a good man, Niv. And a good friend to Jess. I hope I can earn that friendship myself one day,” Dameron sighed. “And the Resistance can use good pilots. We’d be happy to have you with us. You'll be making a differenc—”

“Dameron, just stop it. Listen, I’m in—you don’t have to sell me on the Resistance. I’ve done my homework. And I probably would have found my way there, if not today, then eventually. But this, right now, is for her. You know that, right? And I’ll be watching you, Dameron. Because if you ever hurt her again…”

“I won’t,” Poe promised. He offered Niv his hand. “Welcome to the Resistance.”

Niv considered Poe for a long moment before taking his hand and nodding sharply. “Thank you, sir.” He released Poe’s hand and returned to where Jess and his X-Wings sat. While they had been talking, Jess had climbed out of her cockpit and was doing another visual inspection to see what had triggered the reset to her system. She still hadn’t seen Poe arrive and was unaware of the conversation that had taken place between the two men. Poe hesitated, waiting to see what Niv would say to Jess.

"Everything ok with your ship?" Niv asked innocently.

"Yeah, I think so. My whole system reset, but I can't find what triggered it. I've run every test I can think of, but..." she shrugged. "It's showing normal now."

"Maybe it was a glitch in the astromech dock."

"Maybe," Jess nodded. That wouldn't surprise her—she and astromechs had a...complicated relationship. 

"Well," Niv nodded in the direction of Poe. "Look who's here." 

Jess walked around her ship and shoved her hands in her pockets. 

“Hey J, I...ah...I didn’t know if you’d show.” Poe began.

“I didn’t know if I would, either.” She replied, swaying slightly on her feet.

“You talked to Antilles?”

“Yeah. He’s gonna work it all out for me—Convenience of the Republic Separation or something. I’m on leave for the next two weeks while he pushes it through. Should be free and clear by end of next week.”

“That’s good.”

“Did you talk to Kes?”

Poe nodded.

“How’d that go?”

“Better than expected,” Poe said, thinking back on his conversation with his father. There had been a lot less yelling than he’d prepared himself for, but still a lot of anger from his father and guilt from himself. “He's still pissed. Made me promise that I’ll come home at the end of it all.”

“Think you can keep that promise?” Jess asked, the words still sharper than he was used to. 

“I want to,” he whispered and offered a sad smile. “And I’m gonna try my damnedest. It'll be easier with a good wingman.” He paused and stared at Jess like she was a miracle he never thought he’d see. “Jess…you’re here. I didn’t think that I’d see you aga…” he stopped himself from going farther. “Does this mean you’re in? You’re coming with me?”

Jess ground her teeth, but sighed. “I'm not 'coming with you', I'm joining the Resistance. Cause I’m still mad at you. But…you’re right. There is something wrong. And I can’t stand by and do nothing. And the Navy has changed…it’s not what I signed up for. And I want to remember Muran. And the First Order. And Arkanis—what I saw there, what I reported. I don't want to be ordered to forget it—I want to be a part of remembering it and responding to it. _Doing something_ about it."

“Does that mean joining the Resistance? And Black Squadron?”

“Three conditions.”

“I don’t really have the author—”

“Two have to do with us. You don’t need anyone else’s authority. And I think you can approve the other one.”

“I can probably guess the first one.” He inclined his head towards Niv’s ship.

“Yep. One—Niv comes with us. Doesn’t have to be Black Squadron or whatever you’re putting together, but he’s joining the Resistance.”

“Yes. We’ll take whoever we can get. Lek is a good pilot, we’d be glad to have him. And I don’t get the impression he’s letting you go without him.” Poe nodded his head to Niv, who was watching them closely. Jess nodded in agreement.

“Two—we,” she pointed between the two of them, “we don’t do this anymore. We don’t lie to each other again. Ever.”

“Done.”

"I'm serious."

"So am I."

Jess nodded, considering her next words. “And three—if I’m gonna be your wingman, if we’re gonna fly together again, I want to go back to how we were before. Or as close as we can get. I am _so tired_ of hating you. Of being mad at you. It’s exhausting. So this, today, is the end of it—it’s done. For both of us. What’s happened has happened, we can’t change that. I won’t hold this last year against you if you’ll stop apologizing and looking at me like you’re afraid I’ll cut you out of my life. After this, last year isn't on the table for either of us: not for arguments, disagreements, evidence, anything. And we go back to trusting each other. We go back to being _friends_.”

Poe felt relief flood his body. This was more than he’d ever hoped for. “Jess, yes," he breathed, "of course. Absolutely.” He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. “I’ve missed you more than you know.”

“I think I have an idea,” she huffed a laugh into his shoulder, holding him just as tightly. She’d forgotten how much she missed his touch—how he made her feel safe. “I’ve missed you, too, Poe.”

Poe’s breath caught in his throat. He’d forgotten how his name sounded when Jess said it—how it made him feel like he was home.

“I know we said it’s done, but one last time: I’m so sorry. For everything. For leaving, for not telling you, for what I put you through this last year, for coming back how I did—all of it. I promise you: I will never leave you like that again. I’m here for you,” he whispered. “Always for you.”

Jess let a reluctant smile cross her face. “Always for you.”

Poe stepped back and looked at Jess. “Hey Lek!” he shouted. “You ready?”

“Waiting on you, Boss,” Niv replied, climbing into his cockpit.

“How about you?” Poe asked Jess.

Jess grinned, a new fire in her eyes. “Let’s fly.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You do know something’s wrong, though. You can feel it. You can hear it in how people are talking, sense it in the tension that’s gripping the galaxy.”
> 
> “And what exactly do you want me to do about it?” Jess folded her arms across her chest and watched Poe. "I'm just a pilot."
> 
> “Damn it, Jess. You've never been just anything. And I want you to do something about it. Anything.” Poe leaned forward. “Do the right thing. You’ve always been one to fight the good fight—to stand up to oppressors. So do it. You own your own X-Wing. Take it and leave. Come with me. Fly for the Resistance.”
> 
> \--
> 
> Poe left without a word over a year ago, leaving Jess to pick up the pieces and try to move on. When he comes back, Jess's world is shaken, leaving her to decide--can they go forward? Or has too much time and hurt passed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of the "Linked by the Universe" Series.
> 
> AKA I read the entire Poe Dameron comic series in a 3 day period and decided that Jessika Pava needs more story time. So I wrote it for her.
> 
> Anything you think you recognize/may have been stolen from another fandom, it's entirely possible. "Good writers borrow, great writers steal." -T.S. Eliot
> 
> Kudos and comments adored!
> 
> Edited 4/14: Broken into chapters (I didn't realize it was 30 pages?). And a few slight edits to make it more compliant with the upcoming prequel, "Make a Martyr of Me".

RESISTANCE BASE

“Captain Pava, The Arkanis Report you provided was extremely helpful. We were grateful for the intel you gathered," General Organa said. "It gave us an advantage against the First Order in a number of skirmishes." 

"Thank you, ma'am. I'm just glad it found its way into the hands of someone who would do something with it."

"Commander Dameron tells me you're one who wants to do something, is that true?" Leia asked, narrowing her eyes and considering the young pilot.

"I want to do what's right."

Leia smiled. "Then you've come to the right place. On behalf of the Resistance, I’m honored to welcome you to Black Squadron.” She stood and offered Jess her hand. Jess stood and shook the General’s hand.

“Thank you for having me.”

“Dameron speaks very highly of you. I’m certain you’ll live up to the reputation.”

“I’ll do my best,” she grinned.

“Are you familiar with the rest of the squadron?”

“Partially. I know Karé Kun and Iolo Arana from the NRDF. I haven’t met Snap Wexley or L’ulo L’ampar. But as you know, I'm familiar with Wexley's mother and stepfather.”

“They're both excellent pilots. I think you'll enjoy working with them a great deal. Wexley was one of the first pilots to join the Resistance a few years back and has become indispensable to me. And L'ulo has been around since before the Battle of Yavin,” General Organa said. “He’s an excellent pilot with decades of experience.” She shuffled through the datapads on her desk, looking for a specific one.

“He flew with my mom,” Poe told her quietly.

“Does he have as many stories as Kes?” Jess asked with a smirk.

Poe’s eyes grew wide. “Don’t you dare.” 

“You go get settled in, we’ll gather with the rest of Black Squadron after dinner to discuss your first mission.” General Organa handed the datapad to Poe. “Review this before tonight. You know where her room assignment is?”

“Yes, ma’am. She's with Karé. I’ll take care of her.” Poe winked at Jess, who rolled her eyes.

“Excellent. I’ll see you both this evening. Dismissed,” General Organa nodded sharply and smiled at them before turning back to her desk. Poe nudged Jess towards the door, but something caught Jess’s eye.

“Excuse me, General?” Jess asked, her eyes fixed on a holo. “Before I go…”

“Yes, Captain Pava?”

“Can I ask you about this image?” she turned to face Poe and the General, curiosity in her eyes.

“I’m not surprised that one caught your attention. Poe said you had an eye for racers.” The General smiled as she approached the new recruit and the holoimage. “That is a birthday gift my husband gave to me a few years ago. A Classic Alderaanian Racer. He told me he bought it from a young pilot who rebuilt the engine and restored it themselves, but…” she laughed. “Who knows where he really got it from.”

“Jess?” Poe looked at the image over her shoulder. He'd seen it before, but never noticed it specifically. “Is that…”

“Yeah,” she grinned. “It is. That’s the _Istabith._ ”

“How do you know that name?” Organa asked.

Jess grinned. “I’m pretty sure I sold it to your husband—well, his representative, I guess.”

“You?” General Organa considered the younger woman. “How did you come to have a ship like this?”

“That is a long story that I’ll tell you sometime,” Jess grinned. “But for right now, I think it’s a sign from the Universe that means I’m where I’m supposed to be.”


End file.
